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Writing Your Online Profile

Your online profile is a lot like your online photos.  It is your introduction of yourself to all visitors to your LatinConexiones page and it is your opportunity to make the good first impression that you would like them to see.  The purpose is to share enough about yourself so that others will be interested to learn more and enter into communication with you.  For many people it is very difficult to be objective about themselves so they do not write much or they write too much or they are not certain what to say.

The following information has been developed after extensive research into normal social behavior on dating sites and is being offered to help those who are not so comfortable writing about themselves.  The suggestions are also designed to help improve the profiles for those who are comfortable and would like to create a profile to find the right person for them.

Before you write your profile it is very important to know thyself.  Probably the most meaningful way to begin this is to listen to your heart and reflect upon what makes you smile and think about what makes you happy.

Remember that you are a very unique person.  There is not another person on the planet who is exactly like the sum of all that you are.  Write down all of the words that come to your mind.  Don’t bother to list them in any order.  That can be done later when you begin the structure of your profile.

The next step is to take your thoughts about yourself to one of your closest friends of the opposite sex that you trust very much.  Open your mind and ask him, or her, to share with you how he, or she, sees you as a person and as a potential partner.  Now you have many thoughts about you and how others may see your personality and qualities.

The most important guideline always is to be thoroughly honest.  Always!  Trust is earned and it is re-earned over and over again.   Be yourself.  Do not portray yourself as you think others would want you to be.  When the new relationship begins the true self of each person shows up anyway.

The general length of a profile is suggested to be about 200 words.  For reference, the previous three paragraphs combined are almost 200 words.   That’s plenty of space and opportunity to create interest and for the right person maybe a little excitement.  Take advantage of the opportunity.  If the profile is too short it may indicate you have a very low interest in the entire online dating experience.

There are two main goals with your profile.  The first is to share the most important things about you and the second is to share what you desire in a partner.  Generally, about 70% of the profile should be about the important qualities that make you a desirable partner and the remaining 30% should be about the qualities that you seek in a partner.  Avoid clichés.  Everyone wishes to be happy.  Share why you are happy person and what makes you happier.

Avoid the words or phrases seen in many profiles.  This is your chance to be specific and unique.  If you like a specific genre of movies go ahead and list your favorite and, maybe, why.  Remember there is such a point of being too specific.  List the qualities that you like and admire in a person and avoid “must haves” or the appearance of being too demanding.  There will be plenty of time in future communications to learn the qualities that are important to you.

Use your best grammar with correct spelling and proper punctuation.  The purpose of communication is to share thoughts and ideas and the rules that apply to the written form are designed for the reader to clearly understand your message.  Following the written rules also helps to indicate that you are very interested in the online dating experience and you have put forth your best effort for the reader’s benefit.

Don’t brag or boast.  It is great to be proud and have confidence but allow your successes to live inside you.  That inner confidence will allow you to write more positive and meaningful words and the reader will easily detect the qualities that you are trying to share.

When describing your future partner, again, do not be demanding.  There is no such person that is perfect.  Too many demands indicate that you are more concerned about getting what you want and not so concerned about fulfilling your responsibilities in the new relationship.  Most people online are not trying to find the perfect person.  They are only trying to find the partner that is perfect for them.

Use the guidance that you received from your friends.  If there is a particular characteristic or quality that describes you very positively go ahead and share it by saying “my friends say I am a very upbeat and positive person and I always help them to feel good”.  Many of us shy away from “sales” but online dating and how you write your profile is a form of selling yourself that is expected and necessary.

Leave sex out of the photos and out of the profile.   A profile that places a great deal of emphasis on the sexiness may leave the wrong impression and, more importantly, attract the wrong group of persons.   Remember you are trying to build a relationship and the sexiness of that relationship will take its own unique form.

After you write the profile leave it for a day or two and then come back to review it.  During that time see other profiles and mentally note how they are written.  Ask yourself if any of them truly describe a unique person.  Then when you return to yours ask if it still sounds like you.  Is it consistent with what you have conveyed in your photos?  And, have you helped the reader to “see” the uniqueness of you.

Remember, you can always re-visit your profile to tweak it if necessary.